Monday, January 14, 2008
Current mood: silly

[this blog entry includes replies that were posted via MySpace]

Hi Lorelei,
I am writing on behalf of the organizers of (bondage convention), to ask if you would have interest in teaching a class at (bondage convention) this year. If so, what would be your requirements to be with us?
(–convention organizer)

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Hello (convention organizer),

For transport I will require:
(2) First class plane tickets, round trip, no stops, Burbank Airport to Chicago O’Hare
(1) Limousine with driver, available each day 10am to 12midnight

Each day of my stay (including partial days) I will need the following:
(1) Personal assistant
(1) Bondage model available from 10 am to 10 pm
(1) Male performer available from 10 am to 10 pm (must be willing to wear gorilla costume)

For accommodations I will require:
(1) Suite consisting of 2+ bedrooms, kitchenette, conference table, living room, high ceilings

Containing:
(1) Pair new bunny slippers (womens)
(2) New purple bandannas, prewashed
(1) Wooden suspension frame
(1) Steel tetruss suspension frame
(1) Box Tic-Tacs (red/cinnamon flavor)

In my hotel room I will require the following items provided and refreshed daily:
(1) Custom-color purple M&Ms, 7-oz bag (unopened)
(1) Fresh pair fuzzy purple socks (womens)
(1) Dozen fresh Lilac-colored roses in vase

Food/drink provided and refreshed daily:
(1) Package of Hickory Farms cheeses, crackers, sausage & dijon mustard (unopened)
(2) Bottles of Apple Juice (refrigerated)
(1) Case of Barq’s Root Beer Cans (refrigerated)
(1) Quart Nonfat Milk (refrigerated)
(1) Tray Deviled Eggs (refrigerated)
(1) Bag of Cheeto’s repackaged as “Cheezy Poofs”
(1) Box Quaker Oats Chewy Bars (peanut-butter/chocolate chunk flavor NO VARIETY PACK!)
(1) Deli-style tray of fresh fruit (must include grapes and strawberries) and raw cut vegetables with Ranch Dip
(6) Bottled water
(1) Dannon strawberry yogurt
(1) Finger-sandwich assortment platter
(1) Jar sweet mini pickles

At 10 pm each night I will need a meal delivered to the room containing the following:
(1) Personal-size goat-cheese pizza
(1) Order chinese food of sesame chicken (saucy) with fried rice, plus warm won-tons
(1) Olga’s(tm) Cheese Dog with Olga sauce and cayenne pepper, plus Olga’s(tm) curly fries

Just kidding… Wanted to give y’all a giggle. I don’t think I’ll be able to attend.

Have fun,

–Lorelei

11:34 PM - 8 Comments - 5 Kudos

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Lorelei

BTW if you don’t get what I was doing here, visit
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/index.html

Posted by Lorelei on Monday, January 14, 2008 at 11:57 PM

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Duct Tape Messiah

Was going to say, that’s one hell of a rider you’ve got there. You forgot to arrange the M and Ms in separate brandy glasses ;)

Posted by Duct Tape Messiah on Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 8:45 PM

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RACH

HAHA, Okay you had me for a mintue…As I read I keep thinking Lorelei is just not like this (rude lol )
Hope you have fun I sure miss that side of my life, I havn’t been to a party or a event in ALONG time…
Miss you too
Nice to see you online and in good spirits:)
xoxo

Posted by RACH on Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 8:45 PM

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Pete Puma

I love the Cheesy Poofs…As long as they are not delivered by Mr. Hanky.

As always, you rock!

Posted by Pete Puma on Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 8:46 PM

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Domanick

“wHAT NO kabola water?

Posted by Domanick on Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 8:47 PM

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Richard

I’ve gone down the list and I can handle everything but the Olga’s Cheese Dogs. Is that a deal breaker?

Posted by Richard on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 7:16 PM

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