Monthly Archive

Friday, October 06, 2006
Current mood: sad

[this entry includes comments that were received on MySpace]

Each night I have a dream where my dog Alex is in danger or in an accident. One night I dreamt I was at an intersection with Buddy & Indie, but Alex was across the street on another curb, in danger of being run over. I left the 2 dogs and ran across to get Alex. When I got there, all that was left was her walkies bag.

Last night I dreamt that I was in an industrial building with the 3 dogs. Indie was playing with a ball and she bounced it down an open elevator shaft. The two shorthairs knew not to follow but to my horror Alex leapt down the shaft. I could hear her cries and knew she was probably utterly broken and dying. I leaped down the shaft to try to find her.

When I’m having these dreams I believe she’s still alive, then I wake up all freaked out and realize she’s not in danger, she’s already died.

Over the past few days, at the conscious level, I’ve felt worst about Buddy, because he only made it one year with us. He deserved longer. And we thought we would get to have more time with him.

At the subconscious level, though, I guess I miss Alex in a more critical way.

For 8 years Alex was always in the room with me. I took her to work, I took her home, she was always right there in the same room with me. She was as everpresent as my own hands. I just feel so strange to not have her here. It’s like a piece of me is missing.

I’m trying to focus my attention on poor Indie and give her love. After all, she’s traumatized and doesn’t know where her dog friends went. But she’s not Alex so it’s just not the same.

8:52 AM - 7 Comments

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John

I feel for you. You probably feel deep down inside that you hadn’t done enough for Buddy or Alex but I am sure everyone agrees you did all you could and gave both of them a happier and longer life than they probably were going to anywhere else.

You are probably still in the greiveing period but who knows maybe Alex and Buddy are trying to tell you to let them go and get some new friends for Indie.

Remember you did all you could and more for them and even though some people wouldn’t understand all of us animal lovers do and think that Alex and Buddy thanked you in their own special ways for all you did for them.

Posted by John on Friday, October 06, 2006 at 9:50 PM

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Rob

Sweety, i wish there were words to convey how sorry i am for your loss, but there never will are. I’m an animal person, i’ve had just about every pet available and some that aren’t, around at one point or another, but when you bond with one and lose him, it’s like losing a limb, the phantom limb syndrome. You feel it, but it’s not there.

Right now your mind is just showing you how you feel deep down, like you didn’t do enough or you couldn’t do enough, but you know what, you did. You need to remember that, and share your love with Indie, who needs you now. No, it’s not the same, it’ll never be the same, but it might be just as good given time. Always remember you loved Alex and Alex loved you, and you shared a special bond that’s irreplacable. Eventually the hurt and feelings of guilt will lessen, but it’s going to take time. Know that there are people out here who care and who you can vent to when things get rough, i’m one of them. Be well.

R.D.

Posted by Rob on Saturday, October 07, 2006 at 5:00 AM

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Duct Tape Messiah

:((

Posted by Duct Tape Messiah on Saturday, October 07, 2006 at 5:44 AM

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MasterKajira

He may have had “only” one year, but it was a year where he very likely was happier than he had been his entire life. It made all the previous years of suffering and unhappiness fade into less significance.

It was a good thing you did for Buddy. I’m a believer that the happiness you bring in such a fashion will be returned to you tenfold.

Posted by MasterKajira on Wednesday, October 11, 2006 at 1:42 PM

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Mark K. Hollinger Photography®

When one loses someone special it’s like losing a limb you have phantom pains. I just is a reflection of the human soul to love.

Posted by Mark K. Hollinger Photography® on Friday, October 13, 2006 at 2:43 AM

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