Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Current mood: silly

[this post includes replies that were made via MySpace]

I would just like to tell my breasts how much I appreciate them. :)

When I first got breasts, I was so happy with them. I felt myself up every night. How wonderful and warm and squeezable!

When I first moved to California and didn’t have a boyfriend, I remember lying in bed with two handfuls thinking “This is a waste — two nice breasts and no one here to enjoy them!”

I was just in the shower and realized, hey, I still love these breasts! They’re a blast to soap up. They’re size D now so I can’t grab all of ‘em, but I do my best. Thank goodness Jon has bigger hands than I do.

Ok that’s my soliloquy about my breasts. LOL!

10:52 AM - 16 Comments - 13 Kudos

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Charlzm

Lorelei,

I don’t know if you’ve covered this anywhere, I hope I’m not making a fool of myself by being wrong in my observations and if it’s too personal, then by all means don’t answer, but…

why did you decide to go for the augmentation? I for one can say I thought your breasts were just fine all along.

Posted by Charlzm on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 11:10 AM

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Lorelei

Oh good lord! ROFL!

When I was in high school my breasts were B cups.

By my 30s they were C cups.

I’m in my 40s, have gained a little more weight, and now they’re D cups.

No doctoring was necessary.

Posted by Lorelei on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 11:15 AM

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Charlzm

Color me embarrassed, then. I saw the increase from the Kristine Imboch days through to current photos and just assumed the increase must have been… unnatural.

Pardon me if I offended.

There are just so many augmentations out there that, without evidence to the contrary, I just assume most any woman in the adult industry with larger than B cups has probably gone under the knife.

Oops.

Posted by Charlzm on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 12:05 PM

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Pete Puma

And a lovely soliloquy it is! Your breasts are indeed a wonderful sight to behold. Jon is one lucky fellow! No doubt about that!

Posted by Pete Puma on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 11:12 AM

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BBQ

Hi Lorelei,

I just want to say that I love your breasts too. Infact, I love all of you.

Posted by BBQ on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 12:48 PM

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Tess

In honor of your breasts I have made a donation here http://www.komen.org/ It is the home page of the Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer Foundation. Like you, I love mine, and I intend to help to make sure we all have ours for all our lives…

Tess

Posted by Tess on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 4:17 PM

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Richard

As you’re no doubt noticing, everybody else seems to appreciate your breasts too. I’ve been a longtime fan.

One of the unfair aspects of life is that you can do an ode to your breasts and it comes across as cute and funny.

If a guy were to write a soliloquy about his penis, it would be seen as crass and egotistical. For all I know, I could have been named for mine if my parents had seen some potential in the infant they saw. I don’t really know why “Dick” became a nickname for “Richard”. The letter “R” sounds a lot different than the letter “D”. The most famous Richard is the medieval king, Richard the Lionhearted. Maybe he didn’t earn the title “lionhearted” solely for the lion’s heart. I can’t really say that I play with it. Most of the time, it’s just in the way and playing the morning ritual of “avoid the zipper”. Although it does allow me to write my name in the snow, that’s a feat which has very little demand in the real world.

Unfortunately, the penis has a bad reputation and is viewed by society as an awful thing. It’s covered up as much as possible whereas breasts are prominently and publicly on display. Entire industries exist to enhance and show off breasts. Women can enjoy looking at breasts as much as guys do, but the same cannot be said about the lowly male member.

There’s no question that breasts are enjoyed by many. In this politically correct society, men are not supposed to notice them. A woman can wear a padded bra that thrusts them forward and pushes them together. She can wear a low cut top that draws attention to them. Yet, men are not supposed to look. How can we not? I try not to stare at a woman’s breasts. I know it’s impolite. I know that they are not the measure of a woman’s character. Yet, there they are. I try to look away, yet they keep drawing my gaze back. I try to get my eyes out of there, but they keep pulling me back.

Anyway, I’m happy to hear that you’re in a silly mood. If you ever hear of a good bargain on a used time machine, let me know. I’d like to go back in time to that period when you were alone in Cali.

Now, excuse me while I try to see if there’s a Breastaholics Anonymous in my town.

Posted by Richard on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 5:46 PM

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Richard

Oh well, it doesn’t appear that I’ll be penning that masterpiece. Unlike breasts, which are primarily composed of fatty tissue, the lowly penis isn’t and gains no benefit from increased weight. In fact, the poor little bugger only shrinks a bit with age. When a woman puts on weight, some of it goes into the fatty tissue of the breasts, making them larger. If Lorelei could somehow bottle whatever it is about her physiognomy that channeled half her weight gain into her breasts, she’d never have to worry about money again. Of course, if that could happen, plastic surgeons would be taking a hit contract out on her. The last thing they want to see is a natural means to move fat from a woman’s body to her breasts resulting in larger breasts and less body fat, killing two of their profitable surgical procedures.

Even if my penis were fortunate enough to grow more impressive with age, I doubt that I’d want to talk about it. I’d rather talk about breasts any day of the week. After all, I don’t have them. It’s just as well I don’t have breasts. If I did, I’d never leave the house.

At least there’s one woman who won’t beat me up for staring inappropriately. Is copious drooling okay?

signed
A notorious fan

Posted by Richard on Friday, June 30, 2006 at 4:29 PM

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Duct Tape Messiah

Never met a pair I didn’t like. No such thing as too big or too small regardless or what people think. What is the size of a perfect breast, you may well ask? so long as it reach from the woman’s chest to my lips or the ends of my fingers, it’s picture perfect.

Posted by Duct Tape Messiah on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at 7:58 PM

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Richard

Oh drat…now I’m getting breast envy.

Posted by Richard on Thursday, June 29, 2006 at 3:35 PM

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Feeling No Pain

your breasts and nipples are very nice
thank you

Posted by Feeling No Pain on Saturday, July 08, 2006 at 5:54 AM

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Richard

A&E has a two-hour documentary tonight (and repeated much later in the wee hours) on Cleavage.

I’ll be thinking about you.

Posted by Richard on Friday, July 21, 2006 at 5:26 PM